For all of us students of engineering colleges, the name 'VIVA' is not new-it has been seen as a teacher's sweet sweet revenge against all the disturbance we created in their classes the whole semester. After all when does a teacher get a chance to ask you some question and laugh at your face after being answered in other than a viva?? If you are not one of the teacher's 'favorite'(by favorite i mean mostly asslickers) students, then your chances of not getting humiliated in the sessionals are just as much as Bangladesh defeating Aussies (what if they have done it once, mind you it's just once). But join their group of favorites, and you may even get out unscathed!!!
As my dear friends (you and all) know, students like me can't ever be teacher's favorites. It's not that i am unable to lick asses, it's maybe because of my so innocent face (many of you may disagree on that but that's my personal blog, if you have your own thoughts there is space called comments where you can put you querries) and so devilish activities. So it's obvious that viva time is not my happy time, and indeed it's not been for past 3 yrs-i have found myself remaining silent for most of the vivas for the past 5 semesters. Whenever i tried to answer, i couldn't speak more than one or two jumbled sentences!! So going by the past record, i didn't expect much from myself. Go through the details of every viva to see my condition:
1st-DME VIVA: The DME(Design of Machine Elements) viva was to be taken by R.K.Mishra, aka Mr. HELLO PLZZZ, whom we had disturbed so much after midsem since he started taking our classes. He has a knack of saying "aapka to concept hi clear nahi hai aapse poochh ke kya faayda (as he said to me and manu in 5th sem DME viva). Aap log kuchh bhi parhte likhte nahi hain. Class me dhyaan nahi dete." I knew i had to hear all that this time, too!! So on the day of viva, i tried to look as shareef as possible in order to avoid all that garbage again. When the viva started of the initial roll numbers, the master got irked at the students not answering his questions as he wished them to. So after taking viva of only 5 starting roll numbers the viva date was shifted to two days later, i.e., saturday 10th.
On 10th, the teacher again started his old repeated phrases like the ones i told you earlier. Each group was taking more than 15-20 minutes and the no. of questions being asked per group was about 3-4 only!!! That means less asking more fucking!! Again at 1'o clock, the teacher said the remaining 9-10 of us including me to go back and come for viva in the second half of classes. But due to our united protests, he agreed on finishing the viva quickly than the previous groups. Thus thanks to my overinterested friends, the teacher couldn't get much time to launch any big verbal assault at me but my roomie, Manu was targeted with some new phrases viz."tumne DME 1 chhapke paas kari thi kya???"..But somehow my ass got saved...
2nd-HT VIVA: Three days after the great escape in DME viva came the Heat Transfer viva. This one was more terrible as compared to the DME one. Viva was taken in experiment-wise groups and both the DME teacher and the HT teacher sit in the same cabins. They didn't spare us the rod and just as we entered their cabin, the DME teacher started to hurl verbal assaults and the HT teacher, the questions. This time i knew i was gonna screwed as we had not even done the experiment, just copied the observations and i knew exactly NOTHING...So i calmly accepted my fate like a true warrior.
3rd-MCTD VIVA: The Metal Cutting and Tool Design viva was to be held on friday but, somehow my fate had deserted me and it was rescheduled to be on thursday, thus giving me only 1 day to complete the file and study for the viva (on this pt. i wish to say that i didn't study for viva because of less time and even if i had got much time i wouldn't have studied for it!!)..
We writhed our asses hard in order to complete the file. On the next day, i.e., thursday, i knew right from the morning that this one was going to be the viva in which i was gonna be fucked the most...The mam had in her mind my image as similar to some fallen angel as she said in one class "i didn't expect this from you Mayank, that you won't study, you won't attend classes and bunk midsems!!! GOSH!! what was mam thinking?? Am i some saint or angel?? When we came for viva, the mam divided us into groups of three students each. My group consisted of students like me- Me, Ashish Bodra and Monali (yeah there are girls too, in my batch, but no use mentioning them)..Then some of the groups who had gone for viva returned the said that mam is asking for cgpa first of all and asking questions thereafter. I thought that maybe after hearing my pathetic cgpa, it may happen she may ask me easy questions. But i was going to be unlucky today. After we told her our cgpa, she directly asked me "Mayank, batao main cgpa kyu poochh rahi hoon???"
I thought in my mind "fuck you bitch, how the hell do i know why you are asking for our fucked up cgpas.." But i said a very diplomatic no for an answer. Then she blurted something about results and all that crap which i couldn't and i wasn't interested to understand..After that she started asking questions the starting two of which she had to answer herself at last since we opened our mouths just to say that "i don't know, mam.." Then some questions we were able to answer and after that she told us to go. I was happy there was no verbal assault this time...After all: ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL...
Thus ended the vivas and our ordeals in front of the teachers..I was lucky enough to have fucked myself in only one. But everytime luck's not gonna favour everytime, but that does not deter me from my vow of not studying before vivas and sessionals...Who the hell cares about them??? What we care is about....hmm..actually nothing!!!
That's enough for crap..Waiting for some new event like this to occur so as to update you..Actually these kinda events are a rarity.
Till then bbye. See you later.
P.S. This post was written on 2:12 AM on saturday 17th april, two days after vivas ended. The writer has just written to tell you about his mindset before and after viva. There's nothing too much serious in it. If you expect serious posts, please go someplace else.
As my dear friends (you and all) know, students like me can't ever be teacher's favorites. It's not that i am unable to lick asses, it's maybe because of my so innocent face (many of you may disagree on that but that's my personal blog, if you have your own thoughts there is space called comments where you can put you querries) and so devilish activities. So it's obvious that viva time is not my happy time, and indeed it's not been for past 3 yrs-i have found myself remaining silent for most of the vivas for the past 5 semesters. Whenever i tried to answer, i couldn't speak more than one or two jumbled sentences!! So going by the past record, i didn't expect much from myself. Go through the details of every viva to see my condition:
1st-DME VIVA: The DME(Design of Machine Elements) viva was to be taken by R.K.Mishra, aka Mr. HELLO PLZZZ, whom we had disturbed so much after midsem since he started taking our classes. He has a knack of saying "aapka to concept hi clear nahi hai aapse poochh ke kya faayda (as he said to me and manu in 5th sem DME viva). Aap log kuchh bhi parhte likhte nahi hain. Class me dhyaan nahi dete." I knew i had to hear all that this time, too!! So on the day of viva, i tried to look as shareef as possible in order to avoid all that garbage again. When the viva started of the initial roll numbers, the master got irked at the students not answering his questions as he wished them to. So after taking viva of only 5 starting roll numbers the viva date was shifted to two days later, i.e., saturday 10th.
On 10th, the teacher again started his old repeated phrases like the ones i told you earlier. Each group was taking more than 15-20 minutes and the no. of questions being asked per group was about 3-4 only!!! That means less asking more fucking!! Again at 1'o clock, the teacher said the remaining 9-10 of us including me to go back and come for viva in the second half of classes. But due to our united protests, he agreed on finishing the viva quickly than the previous groups. Thus thanks to my overinterested friends, the teacher couldn't get much time to launch any big verbal assault at me but my roomie, Manu was targeted with some new phrases viz."tumne DME 1 chhapke paas kari thi kya???"..But somehow my ass got saved...
2nd-HT VIVA: Three days after the great escape in DME viva came the Heat Transfer viva. This one was more terrible as compared to the DME one. Viva was taken in experiment-wise groups and both the DME teacher and the HT teacher sit in the same cabins. They didn't spare us the rod and just as we entered their cabin, the DME teacher started to hurl verbal assaults and the HT teacher, the questions. This time i knew i was gonna screwed as we had not even done the experiment, just copied the observations and i knew exactly NOTHING...So i calmly accepted my fate like a true warrior.
3rd-MCTD VIVA: The Metal Cutting and Tool Design viva was to be held on friday but, somehow my fate had deserted me and it was rescheduled to be on thursday, thus giving me only 1 day to complete the file and study for the viva (on this pt. i wish to say that i didn't study for viva because of less time and even if i had got much time i wouldn't have studied for it!!)..
We writhed our asses hard in order to complete the file. On the next day, i.e., thursday, i knew right from the morning that this one was going to be the viva in which i was gonna be fucked the most...The mam had in her mind my image as similar to some fallen angel as she said in one class "i didn't expect this from you Mayank, that you won't study, you won't attend classes and bunk midsems!!! GOSH!! what was mam thinking?? Am i some saint or angel?? When we came for viva, the mam divided us into groups of three students each. My group consisted of students like me- Me, Ashish Bodra and Monali (yeah there are girls too, in my batch, but no use mentioning them)..Then some of the groups who had gone for viva returned the said that mam is asking for cgpa first of all and asking questions thereafter. I thought that maybe after hearing my pathetic cgpa, it may happen she may ask me easy questions. But i was going to be unlucky today. After we told her our cgpa, she directly asked me "Mayank, batao main cgpa kyu poochh rahi hoon???"
I thought in my mind "fuck you bitch, how the hell do i know why you are asking for our fucked up cgpas.." But i said a very diplomatic no for an answer. Then she blurted something about results and all that crap which i couldn't and i wasn't interested to understand..After that she started asking questions the starting two of which she had to answer herself at last since we opened our mouths just to say that "i don't know, mam.." Then some questions we were able to answer and after that she told us to go. I was happy there was no verbal assault this time...After all: ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL...
Thus ended the vivas and our ordeals in front of the teachers..I was lucky enough to have fucked myself in only one. But everytime luck's not gonna favour everytime, but that does not deter me from my vow of not studying before vivas and sessionals...Who the hell cares about them??? What we care is about....hmm..actually nothing!!!
That's enough for crap..Waiting for some new event like this to occur so as to update you..Actually these kinda events are a rarity.
Till then bbye. See you later.
P.S. This post was written on 2:12 AM on saturday 17th april, two days after vivas ended. The writer has just written to tell you about his mindset before and after viva. There's nothing too much serious in it. If you expect serious posts, please go someplace else.
